Chucks View
The inane ramblings of a ScotsmanSlave Labour Hits A New Low.
Just when you thought the civilised world was done with slavery the Japanese have to bring it all back, and in some style.
Instead of giving some unemployed citizen a job the owners of a restaurant in Japan hired two monkeys.
Yes you read that right, two monkeys. two fucking monkeys!
Yes that really is a tragic gimmick.
The poor monkeys.
I’m stumped.
Although it would be rather fun to have a monkey bring me a drink.
I want a slave monkey!
See the video here
So, This Credit Crunch.
We are all doomed
I will happily admit that I was plodding on, paying little attention to this Credit Crunch. Yes, I know the basics as I work in an indusrty where it is mentioned quite a bit, most notably the hysteria of American Insurer AIG almost going down the shitter.
But I can’t say it seemed to effect me too much. Well that was until Friday.
Picture the scene chaps & chapettes.
It’s Friday, a few friends are coming round so me and the other half take a trip to ASDA. We decide it is a good time to get the weekly shop, which we usually do on a Sunday. We also purchase alcoholic beverages for the social gathering we are having.
Obviously, the drink makes the shop a bit more expensive, I see it coming, I’m cool with that. No sweat.
Now up until a few weeks ago our weekly shop cost circa £75 although it has been creeping up, but nothing too dramatic. So we spend around £20 on a case of beer and a couple of bottles of wine (yes it was cheap wine but that was her choice), no need in going over board, we had drink in the house.
Me, after shopping
So picture the disgust on my face (basically something like Jean-Luc there) when the kind woman on the till asked us for £144 pounds. I retched and a little bit of sick came up. I then went into a sort of trance, you know the like, when something plays out in your head and it all seems so real, then you snap back to reality. The trance involved jumping over the counter, smash up the till unit, stealing some cash and bolting out of the supermarket all happy (and slightly crazy) like.
Fortunately I am of a stable mind.
Anyway, we didn’t buy anything that we wouldn’t normally (apart from a packet of Oreos, they are mighty good, you could even say kingly and they were only 73p, hardly bank breaking). So if you take away the £20 for alcohol, that’s £124. Circa £50 dearer than normal.
Ok it has been creeping up a bit, it’s not up £50 from last week but fuck me, it’s still a big jump.
That’s what you get when you have an inept cunt in charge of our money, well done Gordon Brown. You fucked up when you were chancellor and now we are having to pay through the nose because Northern Rock and Bradford and Bingly have gone down the pan.
You bail out the fuckers who ballsed up their respective companies by nationalising them and passing the bill on to the public.
Also selling all our gold was a good idea eh? But it’s Ok, the Bank of England will just pump shit loads of money into the system to keep it going. Where does the money come from?
And yes I will moan about it, and yes I will vote. But the Tories will be just as bad. And the Lib Dems are a party full of twats. BNP are ever so slightly racist so they’re out. Who to vote for?
And yes I realise this rant is probably ever so slightly scewed in the fact that there are other factors but fuck it.
I’m skint and not happy.
Tony the Tiger Is EVIL!
Tony - Makes Kids Fat
If you have kids, do not, I repeat DO NOT subject them to Tony the Tiger. He WILL make them morbidly obese.
That’s the verdict of Which? who found lovable Tony, along with trio Snap, Crackle ‘n’ Pop, Moo (Dairylea) and Quicky (Nesquik) help promote brands that are bad for you kids, turning them into whales.
Now I’m not doubting this, in fact I do believe that these brands are bad for kids, I mean come on, Frosties contain over one third sugar. Dentures in an instant to be honest.
But christ surely parents are strong enough to say no to kids? I detest these parents who let there kids get to stupid weights and then blame everyone/thing but themselves.
I remember seeing a story in the newspapers a while back. Young lass was the size of a bus (I’m talking double decker bus here). The mother claimed the daughter was so fat because she couldn’t afford to buy healthy food yet, she bought mountains upon mountains (I’m talking the size of Kilimanjaro here) of junk food, which would have cost, by my reckoning, more than some fruit and veg and other healthy food.
On top of that the girl wouldn’t exercise. Why? Because she was too fat.
God Damn you Tony the Tiger!
Righteous Kill
Chucks View is not all about rants, oh no, I also look at the good things in life.
I had the pleasure of viewing Righteous Kill tonight, a movie starring Al Pacino, of my favourite actors, and Robert De Niro.
Now don’t worry, there are no spoilers here as I utterly detest them (hey, that might appear on here tomorrow as a rant) but I will just say, it is a well written film with some pretty good twists along the way.
Now I know a few movie critics slated the film and, at best, said it was average but movie critics tend to be useless, jumped up twats who thinks it’s cool to only like films that no one has ever heard of. To put it simply, most film critics are snobs. If you happen to be a film critic, feel free to prove me wrong.
So yeah, a good film which I recommend you see.
De-Gendered Toilets.
Yes, you read it right and yes it is serious.
The world has gone fucking mad. This is a totally bizarre story. Yes the University of Manchester has “de-gendered” its Students’ Union toilets.
Female toilets (if the PC Brigade will let me say that) are now toilets and male toilets are now…wait for it… Toilets with Urinals. Seriously, what the fuck is that all about?
Well, allow me to explain. The Uni received some complaints from transgender students so, they decided to take action to tackle transphobia.
A womans officer, Jennie Killip, gave the following explanation to the BBC;
“If you were born female, still present quite feminine, but define as a man you should be able to go into the men’s toilets – if that’s how you define.
“You don’t necessarily have had to have gender reassignment surgery, but you could just define yourself as a man, feel very masculine in yourself, feel that in fact being a woman is not who you are.”
Fuck off love.
A Students Newspaper then decided to, correctly, criticize the arrangement. Spokeswoman for the paper Susannah Birkwood said: “The toilets have been provided for men who don’t self identify as men and women who don’t think of themselves as women.
“Whether or not this is political correctness gone mad.. because it certainly seems that way to some members of our student community.”
Anyway it would appear Union Officials have decided to ignore the majority and push on with making permanent signs.
Yup, the PC Brigade is at it again. Utterly bonkers. What next? No really, I’m asking you what next?
It could be anything…
My bet? You will be banned from taking a shit in a public, possibly de-gendered toilet, incase you offended anyone with the pungant aroma you may leave lingering.
And if you want to read the whole article, with accompanying video of a rant by a complete weirdo, click here
Postman Pat Updated?
Pat - Raped by modernism?
Apparently Postman Pat has had a wee make over, including a new job, mobile phone amongst other crap.
Now tell me, why the fuck did they do that?
Suppose this follows on from my cover songs rant, why don’t people just leave the classics in the past instead of messing about with them and ultimately destroying them.
Pat will never be the same again now to be honest. All those childhood memories will be tainted.
And the children of today will grow up think Pat is a supercool with his mobile. Piss poor.
Now lets go back to the good old days.
And lets never speak of this shenanigans again.
What’s that you say?
Yes, the Earth is flat!
The Earth is flat?
I’m sitting here on this lovely Sunday evening, surfing away when I come across this absolute gem.
Apparently there are people still of the view that the Earth is flat. Despite space pictures and what not showing other wise, these crackpots are convinced it is nothing but a conspiracy theory.
They reckon that the Earth is totally flat and looks like the picture above. Also it is 9000 km deep.
Lets here from one of these guys.
Step forward Mr John Davis, a “Flat Earth Theorist”
Mr Davis claims;
“People are definitely prejudiced against flat-earthers,”
“Many use the term ‘flat-earther’ as a term of abuse, and with connotations that imply blind faith, ignorance or even anti-intellectualism.”
“I came to realise how much we take at face value,” he says. “We humans seem to be pleased with just accepting what we are told, no matter how much it goes against our senses.”
He is not alone in this, oh no, there are more of these guys. James McIntyre is part of the Flat Earth Society discussion site (yeah I thought it was sad too). This guy views it a little differently from the first fruit loop but his view is equally absurd.
“The Earth is, more or less, a disc,” he states. “Obviously it isn’t perfectly flat thanks to geological phenomena like hills and valleys. It is around 24,900 miles in diameter.”
Well done Jimmy.
Not content with that he continues with this bullshit, claiming that a flat earth can explain why ship go missing at sea.
So Mr McIntyre, what of the photos of earth, taken from space, showing the earth is in fact spherical?
“The space agencies of the world are involved in an international conspiracy to dupe the public for vast profit,”
Indeed.
An why has no-one ever fallen off the edge of the Earth?
“This is perhaps one of the most commonly asked questions,” he says. “A cursory examination of a flat earth map fairly well explains the reason – the North Pole is central, and Antarctica comprises the entire circumference of the Earth. Circumnavigation is a case of travelling in a very broad circle across the surface of the Earth.”
Righty then.
So there you have it. Conclusive proof that the Earth is flat and and it all just a conspiracy to drive profit.
It doesn’t happen too often but I am pretty lost for words.
Time for these freaks to go back into their cages or where ever the fuck they came from.
